Saturday, December 15, 2012

Light a candle…

get on your knees.  and pray.

Pray for those innocent children.  Pray for their mommies and daddies and families.  Pray for the heroic teachers and their families.

There are a couple of reasons I keep a blog.  The main one is to document the life of my children so that I have something to look back on as they get older.  It is fun to go back a few years to when Braedon was only a few months old and read about what he was doing and see how much he has changed.  I sometimes use it as a reference to compare Braedon and Adilyn at the same age, just for fun.   My long term plan is to keep it up until they turn 18 and then give it to them.  Think of it as an electronic journal or scrapbook.  The other reason why I like to keep a blog is because I like to write.  I am one of those people who find it therapeutic and would rather write my thoughts down on paper then express them through words.  

With that said, the tragedy in Connecticut has hit me very hard, and I know I am not the only one.  Hearing about the tragic murders of innocent children who didn’t even know what evil was and probably didn’t have a worry in the world, felt like a complete blow to my chest.  My heart goes out to all those families who lost their babies and to everyone else who is struggling to understand why this happened and how anyone could commit such a brutal crime.  I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to lose a child, let alone in such a violent way.  I find myself constantly thinking about those children in that building and how scared they probably were.  I can imagine them asking for their mommy or daddy and just wanting to be held and comforted.  I can imagine seeing the terror in their tiny faces and the tears rolling down their cheeks as they watched close friends get their lives taken from them, or their own lives for that matter.

I know why this tragedy feels so close to me, even though I didn’t lose a child, and I’m sure it is the same reason why it sits so close with so many others as well.  I am a parent.  Yesterday my whole facebook stream was filled with people expressing their sorrow and praying for those affected. All day yesterday I couldn’t take my eyes off my sweet little Baeo, who is completely oblivious to this horrible tragedy, as he played, ate, watched tv, and went along with his day as naively as those little kids who had their lives taken from them once did.  So much joy, excitement, love, and innocents completely fills his little body.  As I sat and watched him, my heart just ached as I thought about losing my little boy.  I imagined what it would be like if he weren’t here.  The house would be way too quiet and too clean. I wouldn’t laugh as often.   As I tucked him in bed last night with a big kiss and an I love you, I thought about all the parents who weren’t getting to do the same thing. 

When you become a parent, your whole world changes and your life becomes your kids.  Your worst nightmare is losing that precious little gift from God.  Whenever a tragedy like this happens I always think, why?  I believe that God has a plan for everyone.  I always hope that his plan for those are to live a life full of love, happiness, and success, however one might define it.  I just can’t wrap my head around why this had to happen to such sweet little gifts from God.  Then again, I think back to my own little ones.  As a parent you want the best for your kids.  You want to see them grow, learn, laugh, love, and live.  You want to see them successful.  You never want to see them hurt, let alone have to bury one.  I want to believe that my kids were put here on this earth to move mountains, and I pray to God everyday that they are given that opportunity.  That opportunity to live. 

My heart and prayers go out to those families and this incident has reminded me yet again to hug, kiss, enjoy and love my kids unconditionally.  Never take them for granted and cherish every second spent with them because in a world like today, you never know when it will be your last.

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